HOUSEWIFE……
IN A COOKING ZONE!
Pl
note: Mother in law = MIL, Daughter in law = DIL
I don’t know why they call the Lady of the
house “A Housewife”. This woman who comes to this house after her marriage to
the Man of the house or one of the Men in the house starts learning the ways or
way of life of this family. She becomes an integral part and begins to work on
making this House to a Home. She must be called Home Maker and not a Housewife …….yes, Now in last few years
people have recognized Her and have started saying, rather the Women have
started saying “I am a Home Maker”.
Interesting anecdotes of how the housewife
learned cooking from their mother-in-law or came to the married house learning
from her mother. The mother’s cooking training helped to initially tide over
any frowns or taunting when she first entered the kitchen nervously. If she was
good at what she cooked then normally very few appreciated or used to say “at
least my son will get food (mark the word food….not
good food)” How improper of the in-laws. And if she was not up to mark then god
save the bride from taunts like “see mother has not taught her anything”,
mother in law saying “god knows when I will be relieved of this chore”.
(translate both these taunts in your language to get that Punch)
Over the period this housewife becomes
seasoned player and now (in some cases) can tackle the taunts & smirks
efficiently. She develops her own style of cooking while adapting her mother in
law’s recipes, she understand the taste of the family (most of the time
forgetting her own likings), some housewives bend to please all family members
by preparing variety of dishes but some discipline the household into
submission and eating whatever is served (I like this attitude). She shows her
pleasure by creating delicious dishes but if not in mood then her proportion of
salt or chillies or sugar goes haywire, signaling red flag to all!
The names one gives to vegetable dishes often
created confusion eg Batatyachya kacharya (sliced potato dish) would be
Batatyachya Kapi (fried potato wedges), Pitahle (thick besan or kulith
preparation) also called Pithi (watered down version), Telavarchi Bhindi (fried
ladyfinger dish with ground spices) also called Paratleli Bhindi (sauteed ladyfinger
with onions dry), Puran Poli (made in 2 types…1. Stuffed in flat chappati 2.
Stuffed in thick rotla) etc. The new bride would make her own version and mom
in law would be taken aback with the dish. A very popular snack Batatawada of
Maharashtra is also known as Aloo Bonda (south) or Aloo Chop (East) so a Maharashtrian
girl marrying into Bengali family or in Kolkata region would be wondering Aloo
Chop must be a cutlet but when MIL makes it, her surprise reaction is like “आयला हा तर बटाटावडा ”. One housewife told me how she lured her small kid into eating Brinjal
& Potato bhaaji (Vaangi batata) by cutting the potato in half & making
cuts in it to look like table….called it Tabla Vaangi (the boy liked table
instrument). Crazy idea! Another confusion with the Indian Bread tawa roti in
Maharshtrian household was & still is like….Brahmins /Saraswat call it Poli
while many others call it Chappati (Poli for them is Puran Poli !)
A good relation between the Mom-in-law and
Daughter-in-law would result in a coordinated cooking and at times cover for
the shortcomings in the dish. As long as the focus of the Housewife was to
satisfy her Husband’s taste buds she normally had happy going. For being a good
cook one has to love food and its various avatars that can be created.
The recipes handed over generations are
churned out in most households by the housewife with expertise acquired over
the years of cooking. Their skill to deviate from the original (shortcuts) need
to be appreciated and termed as innovative. The dishes changed colours
/richness /spice as per the household health….the prime concern of any
housewife /mother. Which profession requires so much precision, correction,
perfection and continuous innovation…..? yeah, it is A Profession but without
remuneration !
Over the years the housewife has evolved from
purely a women in the house for cooking and feeding many mouths to slowly
smaller families, but, still with a restricted role of managing the house &
kitchen then a few ventured into jobs and managed the office & kitchen. The
need to satiate the hunger will remain forever but the Men are slowly coming to
help the womenfolk (in cities mainly) in either partly managing the
house/kitchen chores (mechanization has come to their aid….washing machine,
microwave). A great thanks to Corona Virus who awakened the Male Gender to the
efforts taken by Women and forced them to be part of the household chores. Now
many are getting used to it.
The Housewife to Home Maker journey is now
being recognized. The anecdotes of various DIL are interesting. Irony is DIL (heart) is short form of
Daughter-in-Law many have shown no feelings to DIL, broken DIL’s spirit and
“DIL ka dard koi samaz na paaya”.
Some girls get married into a different caste
and then the two cooking styles come into play. The normal dialogues that take
place between MIL & DIL …’at my mother’s place we don’t cook like this” and
retorting the MIL would say “ok but my way the taste is different and all like
it so learn it” One housewife experience is interesting, she was a Brahmin got
married to a Kasaar community guy (vegetarian to a diehard non-vegetarian
household) and here is a woman who has never eaten non-veg has to face non-veg
cooking daily. A big learning awaited her. But she was lucky to have MIL
cooperative and also her SIL (sister in law) who was from Malvan (fish eaters,
coconut base cooking). She started learning out of no choice but there came a
twist. She got pregnant and during this period the smell of fish cooking or
mutton gravies made her crave and she started liking and eating too the non-veg
dishes her MIL prepared. Over the period she learned all three cuisines Brahmin
(pure veg), Kasaari (coconut based, shellfish prominent) and Malvani (coconut,
red chilli and anything non-veg that is edible) and today after 30 years she is
an awesome cook and has developed fusion of all 3 styles making her signature
style.
Some
dishes “Cauliflower Kharawani (खारवणी) ” (large floret cooked in spices & coconut milk
tempered with mustard seed), Kolambi Bhaat (prawns marinated with ginger garlic
red chilli paste, typical house malvani red masala sautéed with onions, add
rice and cook.) Aloo Paratha (boiled, spiced mashed potatoes mixed with wheat
flour and rolled) a very easy and quick hunger douser. These are no frill
typical housewife recipes.
Another
housewife told me a story of how name of a dish can be deceptive. “Raspoli (रसपोळी ) ” for the unintiated might be Aamras-Chapati
or Malpua (fried flat bread soaked in syrup) but in actual this Saraswat
community dish is Coconut milk flavoured with nutmeg, sweetened with jaggery to
which was added fresh from the tawa hot phulka…..bingo your Raspoli is ready.
She said it was like the rich brother of Milk-sugar-phulka. Then another dish
“Piwali Aamti (पिवळी आमटी ) ” is equally a misguiding name. It is not a
dal (aamti Marathi) but it is a typical Saraswat Fish Curry (some also call it
Kalwan… कालवण) made with coconut milk, red spices & any
fish. She told that the Saraswat kitchen’s entire menu revolved around
fish….green coconut masala, red chilli paste & coconut masala these two
basic masalas then watered down to the requirement of the Fish. In any Maharashtrian
fish eating household the housewife used to religiously separate the head,
tail, small slices with hole for making Kalwan alias Piwali Aamti alias Spicy
Curry. One trick the MIL taught the DIL to manage a group of guests (vegetarian
as well non-vegetarian guest together) was to make the ground spice ball (वाटपाची goli) with dried or fresh grated coconut, whole
spices, red chilli, turmeric ground on a stone grinder and the make two balls
(portions), one small for vegetarians and another for non-vegetarian. The non-veg
could be anything mutton or chicken or fish. But for the vegetarians she made
Besan (gram flour, ginger, garlic, chillies) small square shaped pieces,
steamed them and put them in the Ground masala (वाटपाचा masala) gravy….lo behold an exotic veg dish (without
vegetables) was ready, it was called “Wadiche Sambhar वडीचे सांबार”….why the “sambhar” she still doesn’t know. A chutney of
green chillies, fresh coriander, tamarind juice, salt is a quick fix that can
be eaten with rice if you are dying of hunger (her MIL in Marathi ‘भूकेने मरत असाल तर ह्याचा वापर करा).
Some
MILs are very strict and do not want to deviate from what they have learned in
kitchen and will want the DIL to follow the same. In this scenario the DIL is
in troubled waters and many times the food may not be to her liking. The new DIL
was a rice eater but the MIL household (4 persons) are chappati eaters
consuming 30 chappatis at a time. Poor DIL sweating all the time has to manage.
There are household where if a guest comes during Lunch or Dinner time, MIL
will insist them to have meal and the DIL had to restart as many a times her
meals used to be ready for her family. So in such cases, one housewife told me
“a door bell ringing during meal time used to send shiver down her spine”. MIL
used to tell her “तुला काय करायचंय त्यात, सगळं cooker करतंय नाsss” (everything is cooked in cooker, what you have
to do? don’t make faces” Such were the times guys.
Bengali women in most households had a cook
/maharaj. The women would give the cook vegetables cut in the style (chopped
/sliced/diced /shredded /cubed) the dish was to be made and then the cook used
to do the seasoning /cooking. Whereas in Maharashtra where the household could
afford a cook or a maid who cooked, the cook/maid would do all the cutting etc
and the Housewife /Malkin would do the tempering /cooking. Gujarati &
Marwari household have a maharaj who does all the cooking under guidance or
no-interference by the Lady of the house.
The
Marwari housewives had the ghunghat tradition so one house told me a funny
story. She said “The ghunghat in house was an irritant for me and on this topic
I always had a cold war with my MIL. One day I was in the kitchen preparing
Panchmela Daal (dal with 5 pulses) and I had almost finished the preparation
when my MIL happened to come to the kitchen. Looking at the Daal she screamed
‘hey भगवान कोनसी बिमारोंवाली दाल बनाई, रंग कितना फिका है’. I knew as I had intentionally done this. I
removed my ghunghat and I too screamed “ऊई मां ये क्या हुआsss, मां जी, घुंगटमेसे तो लाल दिख रहा था, अब क्या करें ? ” MIL said “जाss है ठिक करती हूं. एक काम ठिकसे नहीं होता इन छोरीयोंसे ”. I scooted out of the kitchen with a big
winning smile”. Of course in the earlier days in Marwari community the DIL was
not supposed to answerback any elder so normally harmony was maintained and
many households had this discipline.
Many funny instances must be happening in the
Kitchens and housewives do “Jugaad” and manipulate family members to eat or
like a dish, this particular dish takes the cake. A kid did not like Brinjal
and in the house ‘Vaangi Batata’ (brinjal with potatoes) was a favourite dish. Kid
liked Tabla (an Indian musical instrument) so the mother cut the potatoes in half,
gave slits to look like Tabla, fired golden brown and added to the brinjal
vegetable dish and named it “Tabla Vaangi”, the kid was happy, started eating
the Tablas and slowly the brinjals. Salute the Maa!
Some interesting dishes given to me by the
Homemakers are (nowadays recipes are available on youtube)
Maharashtrian-
Gulache Wade (jaggery fried flat breads),
Vaalachi Usal, Vatpaache Mutton /chicken, Suka Jawla koshimbir, Ras Poli
(phulka in coconut milk), Kulith Pithale /Pithi, Piwali Aamti, Wadiche Sambhar
Marwari – Gatte ki sabzi, Bharwan Aloo, Dahi wada,
Moongdal Chilla, Aloo kohl ki sabzi
Rajputana – Laal Maas, Kota ki Macchli,
Bengali
– Aloo Poshto, Bagare Baingan, Zholer Macch,