HOUSEWIFE…… IN A COOKING ZONE !

 

HOUSEWIFE…… IN A COOKING ZONE!

Pl note: Mother in law = MIL, Daughter in law = DIL

I don’t know why they call the Lady of the house “A Housewife”. This woman who comes to this house after her marriage to the Man of the house or one of the Men in the house starts learning the ways or way of life of this family. She becomes an integral part and begins to work on making this House to a Home. She must be called Home Maker and not a Housewife …….yes, Now in last few years people have recognized Her and have started saying, rather the Women have started saying “I am a Home Maker”.

Interesting anecdotes of how the housewife learned cooking from their mother-in-law or came to the married house learning from her mother. The mother’s cooking training helped to initially tide over any frowns or taunting when she first entered the kitchen nervously. If she was good at what she cooked then normally very few appreciated or used to say “at least my son will get food (mark the word food….not good food)” How improper of the in-laws. And if she was not up to mark then god save the bride from taunts like “see mother has not taught her anything”, mother in law saying “god knows when I will be relieved of this chore”. (translate both these taunts in your language to get that Punch)

Over the period this housewife becomes seasoned player and now (in some cases) can tackle the taunts & smirks efficiently. She develops her own style of cooking while adapting her mother in law’s recipes, she understand the taste of the family (most of the time forgetting her own likings), some housewives bend to please all family members by preparing variety of dishes but some discipline the household into submission and eating whatever is served (I like this attitude). She shows her pleasure by creating delicious dishes but if not in mood then her proportion of salt or chillies or sugar goes haywire, signaling red flag to all!

The names one gives to vegetable dishes often created confusion eg Batatyachya kacharya (sliced potato dish) would be Batatyachya Kapi (fried potato wedges), Pitahle (thick besan or kulith preparation) also called Pithi (watered down version), Telavarchi Bhindi (fried ladyfinger dish with ground spices) also called Paratleli Bhindi (sauteed ladyfinger with onions dry), Puran Poli (made in 2 types…1. Stuffed in flat chappati 2. Stuffed in thick rotla) etc. The new bride would make her own version and mom in law would be taken aback with the dish. A very popular snack Batatawada of Maharashtra is also known as Aloo Bonda (south) or Aloo Chop (East) so a Maharashtrian girl marrying into Bengali family or in Kolkata region would be wondering Aloo Chop must be a cutlet but when MIL makes it, her surprise reaction is like “आयला हा तर बटाटावडा ”. One housewife told me how she lured her small kid into eating Brinjal & Potato bhaaji (Vaangi batata) by cutting the potato in half & making cuts in it to look like table….called it Tabla Vaangi (the boy liked table instrument). Crazy idea! Another confusion with the Indian Bread tawa roti in Maharshtrian household was & still is like….Brahmins /Saraswat call it Poli while many others call it Chappati (Poli for them is Puran Poli !)  

A good relation between the Mom-in-law and Daughter-in-law would result in a coordinated cooking and at times cover for the shortcomings in the dish. As long as the focus of the Housewife was to satisfy her Husband’s taste buds she normally had happy going. For being a good cook one has to love food and its various avatars that can be created.

The recipes handed over generations are churned out in most households by the housewife with expertise acquired over the years of cooking. Their skill to deviate from the original (shortcuts) need to be appreciated and termed as innovative. The dishes changed colours /richness /spice as per the household health….the prime concern of any housewife /mother. Which profession requires so much precision, correction, perfection and continuous innovation…..? yeah, it is A Profession but without remuneration !

Over the years the housewife has evolved from purely a women in the house for cooking and feeding many mouths to slowly smaller families, but, still with a restricted role of managing the house & kitchen then a few ventured into jobs and managed the office & kitchen. The need to satiate the hunger will remain forever but the Men are slowly coming to help the womenfolk (in cities mainly) in either partly managing the house/kitchen chores (mechanization has come to their aid….washing machine, microwave). A great thanks to Corona Virus who awakened the Male Gender to the efforts taken by Women and forced them to be part of the household chores. Now many are getting used to it.

The Housewife to Home Maker journey is now being recognized. The anecdotes of various DIL are interesting. Irony is DIL (heart) is short form of Daughter-in-Law many have shown no feelings to DIL, broken DIL’s spirit and “DIL ka dard koi samaz na paaya”.

Some girls get married into a different caste and then the two cooking styles come into play. The normal dialogues that take place between MIL & DIL …’at my mother’s place we don’t cook like this” and retorting the MIL would say “ok but my way the taste is different and all like it so learn it” One housewife experience is interesting, she was a Brahmin got married to a Kasaar community guy (vegetarian to a diehard non-vegetarian household) and here is a woman who has never eaten non-veg has to face non-veg cooking daily. A big learning awaited her. But she was lucky to have MIL cooperative and also her SIL (sister in law) who was from Malvan (fish eaters, coconut base cooking). She started learning out of no choice but there came a twist. She got pregnant and during this period the smell of fish cooking or mutton gravies made her crave and she started liking and eating too the non-veg dishes her MIL prepared. Over the period she learned all three cuisines Brahmin (pure veg), Kasaari (coconut based, shellfish prominent) and Malvani (coconut, red chilli and anything non-veg that is edible) and today after 30 years she is an awesome cook and has developed fusion of all 3 styles making her signature style.

Some dishes “Cauliflower Kharawani (खारवणी) ” (large floret cooked in spices & coconut milk tempered with mustard seed), Kolambi Bhaat (prawns marinated with ginger garlic red chilli paste, typical house malvani red masala sautéed with onions, add rice and cook.) Aloo Paratha (boiled, spiced mashed potatoes mixed with wheat flour and rolled) a very easy and quick hunger douser. These are no frill typical housewife recipes.

Another housewife told me a story of how name of a dish can be deceptive. “Raspoli (रसपोळी ) ” for the unintiated might be Aamras-Chapati or Malpua (fried flat bread soaked in syrup) but in actual this Saraswat community dish is Coconut milk flavoured with nutmeg, sweetened with jaggery to which was added fresh from the tawa hot phulka…..bingo your Raspoli is ready. She said it was like the rich brother of Milk-sugar-phulka. Then another dish “Piwali Aamti (पिवळी आमटी ) ” is equally a misguiding name. It is not a dal (aamti Marathi) but it is a typical Saraswat Fish Curry (some also call it Kalwan… कालवण) made with coconut milk, red spices & any fish. She told that the Saraswat kitchen’s entire menu revolved around fish….green coconut masala, red chilli paste & coconut masala these two basic masalas then watered down to the requirement of the Fish. In any Maharashtrian fish eating household the housewife used to religiously separate the head, tail, small slices with hole for making Kalwan alias Piwali Aamti alias Spicy Curry. One trick the MIL taught the DIL to manage a group of guests (vegetarian as well non-vegetarian guest together) was to make the ground spice ball (वाटपाची  goli)  with dried or fresh grated coconut, whole spices, red chilli, turmeric ground on a stone grinder and the make two balls (portions), one small for vegetarians and another for non-vegetarian. The non-veg could be anything mutton or chicken or fish. But for the vegetarians she made Besan (gram flour, ginger, garlic, chillies) small square shaped pieces, steamed them and put them in the Ground masala (वाटपाचा masala) gravy….lo behold an exotic veg dish (without vegetables) was ready, it was called “Wadiche Sambhar वडीचे सांबार”….why the “sambhar” she still doesn’t know. A chutney of green chillies, fresh coriander, tamarind juice, salt is a quick fix that can be eaten with rice if you are dying of hunger (her MIL in Marathi ‘भूकेने मरत असाल तर ह्याचा वापर करा).

Some MILs are very strict and do not want to deviate from what they have learned in kitchen and will want the DIL to follow the same. In this scenario the DIL is in troubled waters and many times the food may not be to her liking. The new DIL was a rice eater but the MIL household (4 persons) are chappati eaters consuming 30 chappatis at a time. Poor DIL sweating all the time has to manage. There are household where if a guest comes during Lunch or Dinner time, MIL will insist them to have meal and the DIL had to restart as many a times her meals used to be ready for her family. So in such cases, one housewife told me “a door bell ringing during meal time used to send shiver down her spine”. MIL used to tell her “तुला काय करायचंय त्यात, सगळं cooker करतंय नाsss” (everything is cooked in cooker, what you have to do? don’t make faces” Such were the times guys.

Bengali women in most households had a cook /maharaj. The women would give the cook vegetables cut in the style (chopped /sliced/diced /shredded /cubed) the dish was to be made and then the cook used to do the seasoning /cooking. Whereas in Maharashtra where the household could afford a cook or a maid who cooked, the cook/maid would do all the cutting etc and the Housewife /Malkin would do the tempering /cooking. Gujarati & Marwari household have a maharaj who does all the cooking under guidance or no-interference by the Lady of the house.

The Marwari housewives had the ghunghat tradition so one house told me a funny story. She said “The ghunghat in house was an irritant for me and on this topic I always had a cold war with my MIL. One day I was in the kitchen preparing Panchmela Daal (dal with 5 pulses) and I had almost finished the preparation when my MIL happened to come to the kitchen. Looking at the Daal she screamed ‘hey भगवान कोनसी बिमारोंवाली दाल बनाई, रंग कितना फिका है’. I knew as I had intentionally done this. I removed my ghunghat and I too screamed “ऊई मां ये क्या हुआsss, मां जी, घुंगटमेसे तो लाल दिख रहा था, अब क्या करें ? ” MIL said “जाss है ठिक करती हूं. एक काम ठिकसे नहीं होता इन छोरीयोंसे ”. I scooted out of the kitchen with a big winning smile”. Of course in the earlier days in Marwari community the DIL was not supposed to answerback any elder so normally harmony was maintained and many households had this discipline.

Many funny instances must be happening in the Kitchens and housewives do “Jugaad” and manipulate family members to eat or like a dish, this particular dish takes the cake. A kid did not like Brinjal and in the house ‘Vaangi Batata’ (brinjal with potatoes) was a favourite dish. Kid liked Tabla (an Indian musical instrument) so the mother cut the potatoes in half, gave slits to look like Tabla, fired golden brown and added to the brinjal vegetable dish and named it “Tabla Vaangi”, the kid was happy, started eating the Tablas and slowly the brinjals. Salute the Maa!   

 

Some interesting dishes given to me by the Homemakers are (nowadays recipes are available on youtube)

Maharashtrian- Gulache Wade (jaggery fried flat breads), Vaalachi Usal, Vatpaache Mutton /chicken, Suka Jawla koshimbir, Ras Poli (phulka in coconut milk), Kulith Pithale /Pithi, Piwali Aamti, Wadiche Sambhar

Marwari – Gatte ki sabzi, Bharwan Aloo, Dahi wada, Moongdal Chilla, Aloo kohl ki sabzi

Rajputana – Laal Maas, Kota ki Macchli,

Bengali – Aloo Poshto, Bagare Baingan, Zholer Macch,